Locker Room Controversy: How can Parents Stop Children from Going the Wrong Way?

The #BoisLockerRoom and #GirlsLockerRoom hashtags have been trending on social media for the past few days.

These two are chat groups that were created on the photo sharing social networking site Instagram.  On May 4 and 5, their screen shots started trending on Twitter.

 In the boys’ locker room, pictures of minor girls were shared and vulgar comments and rape remarks were made on them.  At the same time, there were indecent comments about the boys in the girls’ locker room and some photos were also shared.

As soon as the screenshot of the boys’ locker room went viral, there was criticism on social media.  In view of the safety of the girls, the Delhi Women’s Commission intervened in the case.  The Delhi Police also took immediate action and arrested a boy in this group.  Also, some other boys have been questioned in this regard.

 Many boys and girls involved in these group chats are being told to be 16-17 years old.  Concern has also increased for parents due to such young boys and girls being involved in such objectionable activities.

There are many such close groups on social media in which abusive talk takes place among the youth.  In such a situation it becomes a matter of concern for parents how to stop their children from going in this direction.  But at the same time, the question arises as to why adolescent boys and girls are drawn towards such criminal activities.

The reason may be not one, but many

Pankaj Kumar, a psychiatric doctor at Safdarjung Hospital in Delhi, says there may be many reasons for children and adolescents to join such groups and turn to crime.

Doctor Pankaj says, “The child learns what he sees in his surroundings.  Three types of environment are most important for children – a home, school and then a group of friends.  Home is most important in this.  If there are battles, insults, abuses  at home, then these things will become normal for the child. ”

 “Like many times in homes, women are said indecent things unknowingly.  This creates the same image of women inside the child as well.  They don’t see them with respect. “

Peer pressure

When the child goes to school, new friends are made there and from there the pressure of peer group starts on him.  Peer pressure means that he has to show that he is also equal to the rest of his group.  Whatever they can do, he or she can also do.

Doctor Pankaj says that suppose some children in a group smoke, use abusive language and are considered very cool,  in order to fit in such a group, the child starts adopting the same methods to show himself cool, he feels that no one should think of him as submissive.

He says that it is not necessary that all the children in the group like locker room will become rapists in future.  Many would like to show their presence only.

Children trapped in openness and narrowness

Doctor Pankaj Kumar says that sex education is not given properly in our society.  In schools where it has been included in the syllabus, it is also dealt with quickly.  The teachers themselves hesitate to explain this topic.  However, hormonal changes occur in children over time.  A child struggling with these changes finds a solution to his eagerness among his friends or on the Internet.

Children are living in a cultural paradox.  They are in an era where sexual content is openly available.  Children have access to the cinema of the country and abroad.  The films are replete with sex scenes, item songs and double-meaning dialogues.

On the other hand, in our society it is forbidden to talk about sex.  Children are postponed on questions related to this.  Love relationships become an issue of family honor.  This makes the child feel that he will not get answers to his questions from parents.

The weak portrayal of the heroine in cinema and the domination of the male plays a big role in creating inferiority complex towards women.

According to Dr. Pankaj, “Openness in the virtual world, real-life parochialism and then body changes.  This most struggling youth does not find such a place to express his questions and feelings from where he can get the right direction.  The truth is also that not all parents in our society are able to talk to children on sex education, in which case the responsibility of schools increases further. ”

Where will these crimes take our children?

Clinical psychologist Dr Sanjita Prasad explains that spending too much time on the Internet or social media groups can cause addiction.

If the use of social media and the Internet has become an addiction then it can affect the mental health and career of the child.  It is also not easy to get rid of it.  He can go into the world of cyber crime.  He can also come in contact with those who are ready to take advantage of teenagers.

Boys in this group are talking about rape.  They do not understand what is the seriousness of crime like rape.  In them, further sensitivity towards other crimes against women can also be reduced.

What parents can do

According to clinical psychologist Dr. Sanjita Prasad, the path of change in the behavior of children goes through the family.  Parents can show the right direction to the child by paying special attention towards some things.

Talk to the child – We have to see how much time we spend with children, how much we talk to them.  When we do not talk to the child openly from childhood, then in adolescence, he does not want to talk to you himself.

Your behavior – Depending on how strong the family’s ideals are, the child’s behavior depends to a large extent.  Children learn by watching others.  The behavior of parents is not only in front of others, but the more civilized it is in the house alone, the more it will affect the children as well.

Limits should be fixed from childhood – Set the boundaries of the child from childhood so that he does not feel as a teenager that a sudden stop has started on him.  From the age of 6-7 years, explain to him the extent of any work.  Like, make time for playing, watching TV and phone.  Make him feel that if he has made a mistake, he will be penalised.

How much trust there should be – It is important to build trust between children and parents.  However, this trust should also have limits.  Do not assume that your child cannot make mistakes.  He also has to explain that he should respect the parents’ trust.

Accompany you in trouble – When children get stuck in some kind of trouble, do not leave them alone, but make them realize their mistake in the right way so that they can come on the right path.

Whether spying on children is right

To keep an eye on what children are doing on social media, it is often recommended to use a spying app in their phones.  But how much will it benefit?

Cyber ​​experts says, “Spying Apps can be used in children’s phones but this is not as effective as we think.  Nowadays even children have become so smart that they know that these Apps are meant to keep an eye on them.  They also find its break. “

“Also, as soon as they know that you are spying on them, then their trust in you decreases.”

It is better to discuss cybercrime with children and the laws related to it.

The problem is that a digital gap has been created in our homes.  While the children are well aware of the new technology, the parents are unaware of the technology.  In such a situation, it is also important that the parents themselves are aware, only then they will be able to talk to the child on all these topics.

Many times children and youth do not even know that what they are doing is a crime or not.  So they make mistakes in excitement and sheer joy.  It is important that they are told about their limitations, advantages and disadvantages in cyber space at home and school.